November. Purgatory. It’s that space between the last shades of fall and the advent of winter. Black Friday, American Thanksgiving, cold days and colder nights, sigh. I suppose you have a sense about how I feel right now. Yes, bloated with the anticipation of the impending holiday season and falling into the veil of darkness. Is it light more than eight hours a day now? Yeah, but it sure doesn’t feel like it. Sigh, again. It’s really difficult to stay motivated. Cocooning seems like a viable pastime.
You know what we need?
We need a Scorpio, that’s what. Scorpios are volatile. That’s just what we need to spice things up. Who wouldn’t love to experience the powerful force of an exciting and magnetic personality? Not me. I could use some of that determination that the Scorpio possess to “adjust my attitude”, dammit! You have to be careful when you find it though. If you start to have too much fun they might start to resent you for overshadowing their importance. Figures. Just like a Scorpio to jump in feet first just to yank it away a second later just because the situation did not suit their definition of fun. If they could only tell you what they want. Maybe then we would have a fighting chance. But no. That’s not possible is it? They have no idea but one thing is for sure; it’s got to be their way, every time. Every damn time, doesn’t it? God, that’s tiring.
How many Scorpios do you know? Are the cool? Bet not. Are they hot? Usually. Here’s a bunch we all know. I realize that we don’t know these people personally but you be the judge.
Hot? Or not?
Ryan Reynolds (sure but I’m a dude, so not for me), Katy Perry (now we’re talking), Pablo Picasso (hot – he was a DUDE for his style and the fact his name was Pablo – how cool was that?), Hillary Rodham Clinton scares the crap out of me (scary mom type – kind of exciting though, huh?), Bill Gates (oddly sexy for his intelligence), Joaquin Phoenix (anyone who pouts like this guy must be hot), John Candy (well? No, huh?), Lyle Lovett and Julia Roberts (weird couple, remember THAT? – in order; no and definitely), k.d. Lang (sure, why not, let’s be adventurous and her name is still one of my favourite foods), Dennis Miller (yup, smart as a whip) and Sean Puffy Combs……too many names. I’ve got nothing for that one.
One last thing.
If you really want to have some fun then try to tell a Scorpio to relax when they get worked up about something. Try it. Step back slowly and watch them explode. It will start slowly and it will build and build until they just can’t contain themselves anymore. BOOM! Blood and guts everywhere. They will slay everyone around them without a thought. You have to be tough to try this experiment but it may be well worth the entertainment value. It’s cruel, I know but believe me, you WILL enjoy it and you WILL like it or I will come over there and ……oh, sorry.
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed my poking fun at the November star sign. I am sure there are some good Scorpios out there and some that really think the world doesn’t revolve around them.
Our friend Austin Kleon sums up the Scorpio in an interesting way. If you figure out what it means please let me know.